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ADDICTION Snapshots of recovery Stories shared at Seacoast Public Health Network event

Portsmouth Herald - 5/21/2017

Editor's note: The following individuals shared their stories at a Seacoast Public Health Network addiction and recovery event at Austin17House in Brentwood May 18.

BRENTWOOD - It is estimated that 478 people died of a drug overdose in New Hampshire in 2016. The epidemic that continues to shatter lives and families across New England has swelled in recent years, as states have begun taking an all-hands-on-deck approach to ceasing its destruction. For those who have not succumbed to their substance abuse disorder, recovery is a perpetual climb. The four components of recovery are health, home, purpose and community, according to New Hampshire's Granite Pathways.

Kate Clough

Kate Clough said she hit rock bottom when she found herself shivering on a cement bench for 16 hours in a Lawrence, Massachusetts jail cell. Now, it has been two-and-a-half years since she picked up heroin.

Currently in long-term recovery, Clough said becoming a heroin addict was not something she or her family envisioned for herself. She was on a good path out of high school, slated to study nursing in college. She never made it there.

"In the grips of my heroin addiction, it was really impossible for me to see a way out at all," Clough said. "My life went on like that for two years and it was a constant struggle. I couldn't keep a job or apartment, my relationship with my parents was virtually non-existent."

Clough said her days consisted of "a constant juggle of getting high enough not to be sick but not too high so I could go to work." Clough said at that point, there were two outcomes left: Incarceration or death.

Her battle came to a screeching halt after her arrest in Massachusetts. "That's what did it for me," she said. After grueling weeks of treatment wait lists, Clough was able to get into an intensive outpatient program at Seacoast Mental Health Center. Since then, Clough said, she has had great success.

Meeting her husband in 2014, they opened a well-known restaurant in Newmarket called Jonny Boston's. Though Clough said her sobriety has brought her many blessings, being a business owner put her on the other side of drug addiction.

"It's been interesting for me," she said. "Within the first 12 months of business, we had to let two of six employees go because of heroin use. Because of my experience, I was able to identity them. As a fellow addict, it was really hard not to sympathize with them. We didn't take the decision of letting them go lightly."

Clough also works at the Newmarket Community Church where she is an active member of the Newmarket ASAP Coalition. She has a "beautiful son" named Oliver.

"I have a great life I could have never dreamed of for myself," she said. "To that addict that is still suffering, I hope I can be a sign of hope."

Ryan Fowler

Since Dec. 21, 2014, Ryan Fowler has not had a drink or used drugs. His path to becoming a heroin addict, he said, likely began as a child. He grew up in Hampton, coming from a good family where he had "everything he ever needed." However, his family was afflicted by drug addiction and alcohol, and he had some adverse experiences as a child.

"Looking back I wish I had more positive role models, a mentor," Fowler said.

By the time Fowler graduated from Winnacunnet High School in 2008, he was addicted to heroin.

"My life did not get any better from there," he said. "I engaged in a lot of criminal activity, I have been incarcerated, I have clogged up the health care system, I have used a lot of resources. My family didn't have much choice but to turn me away."

Fowler said after a felony drug arrest and revival by Narcan, he was invited back into his family's home with love and kindness. Beginning treatment, Fowler said he learned meditation, mindfulness exercises and how to pray.

"I started to attend church and found a faith in God," he said. "I was really able to apply that one, I was given the space to grow as an individual."

Fowler said he left his initial treatment program and dove headfirst into a 12-step program.

"I've done a lot of really cool stuff in the past few years," he said. "I got into political organizing, campaign coordinating, nonprofits and candidates I believed in. I've had letters published in local newspapers, which I think is kind of cool."

Fowler now works for Helping Hands in Manchester, assisting a challenging population of people with substance use disorders. He recently lobbied for passage of House Bill 575 to allow the board of acupuncture to certify individuals as acupuncture detoxification specialists for people struggling with substance abuse. He said he hopes Gov. Chris Sununu will soon sign the bill.

"I've never been happier," he said. "I love my life." To others who have someone in their life struggling with addiction, Fowler said "let them know you care for them and love them."

Marc Steiner

With the opening of his new chiropractic office in Exeter last week, Marc Steiner said his six-year journey to recovery is directly reflective of what he wants to give his patients.

"Mental illness and substance abuse don't start overnight and neither do their resolution," Steiner said. A painful sequence of events that began with an injury in eighth grade, Steiner said sitting out a significant soccer season and not developing strong self image in high school led to poor choices in college.

"My breaking point, I was a shell of a person, dropped out of school, friendless and hopeless," he said. When Steiner got out of treatment, he begged his parents to let him come home.

About five months into recovery, Steiner said a family friend approached him at a wedding and told him to come to his chiropractic office. The chiropractor said he could offer Steiner help if he committed to care.

"He also made me pay for the care because I needed to have some skin in the game," Steiner said. "I worked graveyard shifts, stocking freezers. As our care began, it was almost as if layers of pain and sadness started to lift off of me. The first step in getting somebody healthy again is making sure their nervous system is functioning properly."

Steiner said he was able to decrease medication use and has now been medication free for years.

"We all have this incredible ability to heal ourselves," he said. "My chiropractor saw that and I see that now."

Last fall, Steiner graduated with honors from chiropractor school and now hopes his family-friendly practice can help those who are too struggling.

Olivia Dupell

Olivia Dupell said she distinctly remembers taking her first shot of vodka while a student at Exeter High School. "I remember the feeling that washed over me," she said. "And how it quieted my mind."

In college, she began to drink more heavily, several times a week.

"What used to quiet my mind was now making me feel depressed and ashamed," Dupell said. "What started as college parties was now sips of wine or vodka in between classes." Dupell made it through college, graduating with honors.

"My drinking then became out of control," she said. "Going out to the bars, I would drive home and not know how I got there when I woke up." Dupell said she would drink herself to sleep at night and just to get through the day, stuck in a vicious cycle.

She said she hit an all-time low when her mom found her passed out over a toilet during her sister's wedding. Facing her mom was one of the hardest moments of her life, she said.

"My mom hugged me and said, 'You can do this, you just have to take it one day at a time,'" Dupell said, crying. "For the first time, I knew what hope felt like." Dupell said treatment has since transformed her life.

Now married and a homeowner, Dupell is a case manager for Granite Pathway's Regional Access Point Services, a statewide network helping New Hampshire residents struggling with addiction.

"When a new client calls and I hear the pain in their voice, I am reminded of what my mom once said to me."

If you or someone you know needs help

Call the New Hampshire statewide addiction crisis line at (844) 711-HELP.